Category Archives: Take Time to Laugh

LAUGH OUT LOUD!  

September 2021.  A good friend of my husband Bryan sent this, and I know that you will all love it.  (Psst, this is the one I wrote about to the chat group.)  Cheers from Liz Webfoot: 

A male group of friends, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch……finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Boot and Flogger in London because the waitresses had big breasts and wore mini-skirts……. 

Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for lunch……..finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Boot and Flogger in London because the waitresses were attractive and the food and service was good….. 

Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch….finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Boot and Flogger in London because they could dine in peace and quiet with no loud music, and it was good value for money……

Ten years later, at age 70, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch……finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Boot and Flogger in London because they welcomed the older generation and gave them a 10% discount….. 

Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed again where they should meet for lunch…..finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Boot and Flogger in London because they had never been there before……… 

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Take time to laugh at these. You’ll love them!

Thanks go to Ann Merchant for this hilarious post. It is spot on and boy are we sick of whiners and selfishness!

PRESBYTERIAN : 
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER 

ASTRONOMER: 
When you rearrange the letters: 
MOON STARER 

DESPERATION: 
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT 

THE EYES: 
When you rearrange the letters: 
THEY SEE 

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS 

DORMITORY: 
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME 

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY 

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters: 
LIES – LET’S RECOUNT 

SNOOZE ALARMS: 
When you rearrange the letters: 
ALAS! NO MORE Z ‘S 

A DECIMAL POINT: 
When you rearrange the letters:
I’M A DOT IN PLACE 

THE EARTHQUAKES: 
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE 

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: 
When you rearrange the letters: 
TWELVE PLUS ONE 

Thanks go to Lil Marik Price’s husband.

1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.
2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.
3. A commander walked into a bar and ordered everyone around.
4. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.
5. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.
6. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.
7. When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare. 
8. Bono and The Edge walked into a Dublin bar and the bartender said, “Oh no, not U2 again. 
9. Prison is just one word to you but, for some people, it’s a whole sentence.
10. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament but good players are really hard to find.
11. I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
12. What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re.
13. 13.What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up his own incision? Suture self

     The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband’s occupation. “He’s a funeral director,” she answered.

     “Interesting,” the newsman thought.

     He then asked her if she wouldn’t mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20’s, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40’s, and a preacher when in her 60’s, and now – in her 80’s – a funeral director.

     The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

                              W A I T   F O R   I T

                   R E A L L Y    W A I T   F O R   I T

     She smiled and explained,

     “I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.”