Category Archives: Supporting Each Other As We Age

Thanks go to Lil Marik Price’s husband.

1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.
2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.
3. A commander walked into a bar and ordered everyone around.
4. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.
5. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.
6. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.
7. When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare. 
8. Bono and The Edge walked into a Dublin bar and the bartender said, “Oh no, not U2 again. 
9. Prison is just one word to you but, for some people, it’s a whole sentence.
10. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament but good players are really hard to find.
11. I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
12. What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re.
13. 13.What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up his own incision? Suture self

     The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband’s occupation. “He’s a funeral director,” she answered.

     “Interesting,” the newsman thought.

     He then asked her if she wouldn’t mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20’s, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40’s, and a preacher when in her 60’s, and now – in her 80’s – a funeral director.

     The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

                              W A I T   F O R   I T

                   R E A L L Y    W A I T   F O R   I T

     She smiled and explained,

     “I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.”

Now this is just what we need to remind us  that we can handle anything if we have the right mindset.
Submitted by Barbara Hartt Hise. 

Subject: Inner Peace – a Lesson

If you can start the day without caffeine

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without alcohol, 

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

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Then you are probably The Family Dog

And you thought I was going to get all spiritual …

Handle every Stressful situation like a dog:  
          If you can’t eat it or play with it, pee on it and walk away.

Just about my all-time favorite.  Thanks, Jenifer Grant Marx.

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