Part 10: Jul 3 – Aug 23, ’20

7/3 – 8/23/2020

7/3/20 — I think I started a great discussion when I wrote of our plan to move into a apartment in independent living at a CCRC.   
     No doubts – it’s a really difficult decision. I think the decision involves much discussion and agreement:
*  where do we want to spend our final, less physically able, years?;
*  what kind of medical care do I want for Jim(Andy) or myself if /when poor health or end of life issues are present?  
*  is 24/7 medical support, If Needed, important?;
and, of course, 
* where in this nation do we want to be? 
     For us, warm weather was important, staying in our Florida town where we have doctors, known grocery and drug stores, a great bridge center, church and lots of friends who have chosen to grow old at this CCRC. Most important was having a safe place for my husband to enjoy life despite his complex medical issues.
     So – I can’t say I’m excited about moving and leaving our SeaOaks beach and tennis community but I know it’s a wise and rational decision.
     The other consideration, in terms of when to make the move, is the reality that we can be moving 2 years too early or 2 minutes too late (we each must  pass the medical and cognitive required testing for independent living, eg can’t get in post-stroke)
     We felt it smart to move now! And so we’ll be moving in September, hoping to sell our condo quickly and glad we still have a NJ cottage for summertime visiting with on our 3 kids (who all live in New England.)
Hope this isn’t too long.  Sherry Welles Urner

7/7/20 — Did any of you happen to be watching a repeat of Antiques Road Show tonight?  One of the items featured was a collection of Indian costumes, etc. from an active Cherokee poet, educator and Indian Rights Activist, Ruth Muskrat Bronson.She was the executive secretary for the National Congress of American Indians, the first of many positions she held furthering the rights of Indians.  She went to several colleges, but got a BA in English from Mt. Holyoke in 1925!   They mentioned MHC on the program.  Cheers  Kim 
* Wow. Kim. Thks for that tidbit. Yea for MHC, again. Marian
*  Thanks, Kim.  How interesting!  I’m on our island in Maine, and I’d send you all a photo, but we seem unable to attach photos to our emails any longer.  Virtual hugs to you all — Liz Webfoot 
* Kim, I happened to see Antiques Roadshow last night as well and enjoyed the information on Ruth Muskrat Bronson. I have this vague thought that there was some mention of her in an Alumnae Quarterly, but do not recall how long ago.  Anne Fry 
*  Like Anne, I vaguely remember an article in the Quarterly.  Since I remeber it, it was probably within the past year.  Frannie Blair

7/8 – 7/14/20 — Hi, all. Our converted Vermont barn, now a summer home, was a legacy from my parents – we share ownership of it with old friends who live in Montreal, and we all love being there – it’s part of a long family tradition.  Now our co-owners have determined that their son does not want his share passed on, and we are trying to figure out how to pass it on to our children and other family members, and how they might share in the use and upkeep, and what kind of organization and arrangements we should be thinking about. Have any of you inherited summer property, or shared use and ownership with other family members or friends?  I’d appreciate any information and advice you have for us – we’ve been able to keep it all pretty loose and informal, as long as my husband and our co-owner did the finances and books, but now we probably have to figure out something more formal, and make sure we can leave our sons enough to keep our share sustained and in good repair.  Advice and experience  to share welcome!  Dee de Ferranti Abrahamse
*  I would suggest setting up an LLC. There is a very good book called Saving the Summer Cottage- can’t remember the authors name but I will research it and get back to you. We looked into this when my brother and I inherited our long-time family place in Northern Michigan. In fact I seem to remember the author was from Michigan. I’ll get back to you.  Mary Ginn Weinland
*  Thanks – sounds like just what we need!  Dee
*  Dee, we’re on our way home from our shared  (3 siblings) Maine property. Can’t write now but will soon with some suggestions.  Cheers — Liz
*  Great!  We would be in Vermont now if not for the pandemic – no cross country flights for us.  Dee
*  I concur on setting up the LLC.  We  have a similar arrangement for our place in Maine.  Marian 
*   Thanks, Marian.  We’ll see what happens – a former complication was the fact that our co-owners are Canadian, live in Montreal, but it now appears as though their son does not want a share of ownership, so that might be easier to do with the rest of the family.   I’ll let you all know what we discover and probably be back with more questions. 

7/1120  — Hi, everyone.  We’re back in the “fake world” now, having just returned from the real world.  Love our island and that part of the world  (Sutton Island, Maine — one of the Cranberry Isles). We are just so lucky and I am grateful beyond words.  I’d like to say that we rested for 9 days, but we drove 12 hours each way and then spent much of our time taking down trees, splitting and chopping firewood.  I did neither but was a good assistant.  There are two couples on our side of the island (northeast quadrant) who have become good friends, and we got together several times — so we had some good times.  We look forward to seeing them each year.
     Returning home we drove through severe thunder storms in NY and NJ.  Besides which, we hadn’t planned food for our return trip, so we had to stop to find things to eat.  All exhausting.   We brought lobsters back for our Baltimore kids (John and Joel) and the couple across the street who watered our gardens.  We had an excellent set-up of our three groups of two properly socially distanced across two picnic tables.  Good stuff.
     Back to property management, LLC is what we tried to set up for our family property which is owned by two sisters and me. After endless hours by Bryan with Maine lawyers many many years ago, we still haven’t set it up because one family held up every attempt we made.  That member’s family owns two other houses on the island.  We three are all still living, but barely (my oldest sister is close to 90), and so we each have a family member as a representative to try to run it.  We’re trying to run the property by vote, but honestly it is becoming increasingly difficult.  That one family simply has no good rep and is responsible for most of the hangups.  We are pretty frustrated with the whole situation because we have no real structure for our management, and there is no penalty for going against the will of that third member.  Darn.  The final blow is that the other two families are definitely the ones who do most all of the physical work.  Cheers —
Liz Webfoot.  
* Liz,  That sounds all too familiar.  Do you know how many books have been written about “the family cottage”?  Nothing is perfect.  Our place in Waterford Maine started out with one couple, of course.  My mother inherited it and she was an only child.  My sisters and I ran it with a small amount of angst.  Now it is run by 8 cousins, living from Florida to California and back, again, with many different attitudes and willingness.  The next generation is 19 and they barely know each other.  I wish I had a magic wand to make it wonderful for them.  Marian 
*  Marian, of course I know your place, and our two properties couldn’t be more different.  You have several cabins on a lake, and we have one house which sleeps 17 on the ocean.  Our “Afterglow” is run by 8 cousins, offspring of the three owners of the property.  We now have a three-person management team, one from each branch of the family.  Right now the management is in a shambles.  Then there is currently the next generation of 19 with several spouses.  How bizarre that our numbers are exactly the same!  As of today there are only 2 in our following generation.  About 40 people in all use the house from time to time. Two families are basically in agreement, and the third family is never in agreement and refuses to spend money on Afterglow because they have two other houses on the island.  My nephew Ben (Barbie’s son) is about to begin replacing the kitchen sink which we lost three years ago.  And we will now have a dishwasher, or rather we will have a space for the dishwasher.  Getting agreement on that was not easy.  My sister Barbie lives nearby and always says, “But I love washing dishes at Afterglow”.  And I always reply, “Then don’t use the dishwasher.”  It is so interesting how families differ, and much of that difference when on vacation comes from the people who are “Cooks” as opposed to the “No-Way-Cooking” folks.  Those who saw and split and chop and haul and pull; and those who tend to the small flower garden and paint the house.  Of course there are also those who walk and read.  I think you can tell by my attitude which one I am.  In the meantime the bayberry is taking over our entire front blueberry patch (approx 100′ x 100′).  We have 11 acres, a large meadow in the back which is closing in and the front yard which is also closing in.  Over the past 30 years, there are really only 4 of us who have really done the physical work.  
     Sorry to get so carried away.   I will write to Marian privately in the future.  The management is difficult. Love and hugs to you all,  Liz Webfoot
*  Isn’t it interesting dealing with family? Marian   
*  Yes! You have Summer home properties; I have a family business corporation. It all amounts to the same thing. In my case we have been in litigation for five years and go into mediation in San Francisco July 31st.  I never imagined it would be this hard!  Barbara
*   I am so sorry for you.  I hope my situation does not end in litigation.  Marian 
*   Oh, Barbara.  I, too, am sorry for you.  Not in my wildest dreams did I ever think litigation.  Yikes — sure hope this isn’t a glimpse into our future.  Liz 
* Thanks Marian.  The sad thing is that if extended families can’t pull together, important legacies are lost. At least that’s my view. Barbara
*   We bought our family’s summer home in Northport MI from my siblings and then lived there for 30 years.  Have two kids who live up here, and the other is looking for a summer house close to us.  Loved it, but it became too big so we sold it and are now in a lovely (and easy) condo closer to Traverse City.   Miss being right on the water in the summertime, but we do have a beautiful view, and great neighbors.   Closer to kids with grandkids.    So, things have worked out well.  So far so good!    Betsy 
* Lovely, Betsy. Sounds like the right resolution for your family! Barbara(Williamson)Bucholtz

Click to access WineCartoon.pdf

7/14&15/20 — Hey all!  Just received the following email addressed to relevant class scribes.  While I remember sitting in Chapin to hear Robert Frost while we were there, I have no memory of when he spoke.  And I remember, of course, the televised JFK inaugural when the sun was in his eyes.  What are your memories?—Rocki Hill Hughes
      Email quote:    I am Virginia Smith, Class of 1983, and editor of The Robert Frost Review, the official journal of The Robert Frost Society. Our journal is actively seeking contributions from Mount Holyoke alumnae and members of the college community who may have seen Robert Frost speak, interacted with him, or have some other personal memory. 
      In particular, I am interested in hearing accounts of Frost’s appearance at  Mount Holyoke on October 13, 1962 in observance of our 125th anniversary. I assume that most of the members of the classes of 1963-1966 would have attended his talk. He also spoke at both Amherst College and UMass, Amherst in 1961 and Amherst in 1958. He spoke multiple times at Dartmouth as well, so our alumnae may have spouses who saw Frost or met him. All contributions are welcome!
      I would greatly appreciate your help as the class scribe in spreading the word. If you could please share the statement provided at the end of this message with your classmates (or use your own words!), I would greatly appreciate it. Best wishes, Virginia Smith, Editor
The Robert Frost Review seeks your memories of Robert Frost
     The poet Robert Frost was a frequent visitor to the Pioneer Valley in the 1950s and early 1960s. Most importantly, he spoke at Mount Holyoke on October 13, 1962 as part of the observance of our 125th anniversary, just a few months before his death. If you have a memory of watching him speak or interacting with him personally, we would love to hear from you!  Your written account, however brief or informal, will be of great interest to us and may be published in a future edition of The Robert Frost Review or Frost Society newsletters.  Submit questions or written contributions to Virginia Smith (Class of 1983) at robertfrostreview@gmail.com or write to her at Virginia F. Smith, 8 Acorn Drive, Annapolis, MD 21401.
*  OOOOH!  Your  question just took me back to student days,  I wonder when.  I am sure at MHC but as I read the email, I know I did take a bus? to Amherst and heard him there.  And I know  heard him read more than once.
     What I remember is his voice and his New England accent reading his work.  I  was and as I remember it, again am in a cloud of enchantment.  His words reflect his roots- through language, accent and topic-  They also reflect my roots.  I didn’t understand that until I heard him speak.  
Thanks for the memory.  Maggie Gat
* I remember Robert Frost reading poems at the Amherst library in a small room and it was snowy !  Don’t remember how I got there but it was a small group for a class jr or sr year.  Bette
* I’m not sure when I heard Frost speak at Chapin – perhaps 1959 or 1960. But I do remember in the course of his greeting the very full audience in Chapin, his also offering greetings to the “plebians” in the lesser rooms. Sue W Carr
*  I remember going to Amherst in 1958, and the small room. He seemed very old to me, and I don’t remember what poems he read.  I was aware that it was a realhonor to hear him in person, though. Dee Abrahamse
*  I remember going to Chapin to see him!   I don‘t remember the year….maybe our sophomore year???   We had pretty good seats as I recall so could see him well.  Loved It!   I was so impressed that he would come.    He read several poems..did seem old but he was!     Betsy.
*  One warm September evening, I was crossing the lawn outside of Chapin on my way back to Buckland from the library.  Those large Chapin windows were open and Robert Frost was reading his poetry ( no doubt to the very audience Sue identified). I sat down under a tree -its  leaves had all turned bright yellow – and listened.
     After we graduated, I remember hearing him read his poetry on the radio ( on Saturday mornings, I think).  It was always wonderful to hear , but no reading was quite as powerful as the one I heard that September evening.  Barbara ( Williamson) Bucholtz
*  I too remember going over to Amherst to hear him, but I remember the reading being in a largish auditorium.  It’s certainly something I’ve never forgotten.  I guess there must have been a bus which took a number of us there.  Ellen Fetter Gille
*  Dopey me – I stayed in Mead (it was Soph year) waiting for a phone call from the jerk I married!! DUMB and Dumber.  But I did hear him (Frost) at Dartmouth a few years later. There’s a wonderful sculpture of him in the woods near Bartlett Tower and the Bema.  Diana Diggin
*   I must have missed that, only remember John Updike speaking at one of our English classes – don’t ask me what he said. Thinking that he was on the short side – amy
*   This is bizarre, so I have added this thread to our Robert Frost discussion.  While I was looking over our emails for inclusion in the web compilations, I actually read the letter sent to us by that member of the class of ’83 — the one who was looking for input about Frost’s speaking on campus.  Well, for heaven’s sake.  She lives in Annapolis, and we used to do MHC club things together some 40 years ago.  I know it was way before Bryan and I were married (31 years).  I just contacted her, she works for the Naval Academy, and drives by my house every day.  So we’ll get together.  Her name is Virginia Smith.  Fun!  Cheers — Liz Webfoot
*  Hi Liz – I’m remembering the authors – poets and novelists – who came to Amherst, and we heard at college – I was taking modern poetry in pir senior year – do you remember authors from an Amherst poetry festival coming to talk to u?    who was there ?
*  John Updike – I remember he came to talk in our class from an Amherst literary conference. Do any of the rest of you remember him coming?  Dee Abrahamse
*  Please remember to sign your name so we know who you are
*  So who wrote this?  (Just struck me as funny!). Sally    
*  It was I, liz webfoot.  I did not sign my post because I didn’t want to keep coming across as a boss.  But honestly, folks, if you don’t include your name, we have no idea who wrote the email.  What’s more, I am compiling all of our emails and can’t include anonymous chat.  Cheers — Liz Webfoot
*  Dee, I remember John Updike – very young, very attractive, quite unknown then. I was impressed, I recall, by him, but have no idea now what he said.  Sandra  (Iger Kohler)

7/15/20 — “Online until cases decline. “  
This is the warcry of parents and teachers in Panellus County, next-door to me. 
Heartening to see reality based grassroots response here in Florida. Where my quiet life seems so different from news coverage.
And it is very hot and dry.
Morning news from Tampa.
Dottie Smith Mann

7/15/20 — Hi all A Cappella lovers. Look at what teens are doing with a cappella group singing. Great sound.! Of course Noor is there . They put it all together remotely. None of the kids knew each other before last week. Enjoy. Chris Hollister Hila
https://youtu.be/W-53bWhY6y8
*   Amazing sounds, Chris. Really impressive, thanks!  Sally Stearns Gipson
*  Thanks , absolutely wonderful.  Bette  
*  That was terrific, Chris!   And Noor looks so pretty!  Tell her congrats!   They do such a good job, especially considering having to work at a distance.  Here in Santa Barbara, the Music Academy of the West is conducting its season remotely too and it is astounding what they can achieve!  Of course, everyone misses having live performances but I would venture that these kids are learning a whole new extraordinarily useful set of tools for the future!  Best wishes and stay safe!  Kim
*  Amazing. What fun that must be. Marian
*  Love it Chris.  Nancy C

 
Uncommon women!  Kim
* YUP. Marian
* Terrific! Dee
* Wow. How powerful! Thanks for forwarding this! xx Liz
* Thank you for posting! Amy

8/8/20 — That’s great.  Fun to listen to and telling it like it is for us!  
     Our kids from Indianapolis were here for a week, just left Wednesday.  Now back to normal  Dn’t have to wear masks inside… which we did with them… if too close, always ate outside.  Went out to dinner one night… had reservations on the outside porch… worked well!  Lots of walking swimming, they did a kayak, biking and beer trip… too close for us.
     Oh how I wish someone in our govt could do something right and shut us down again so we can get rid of this scourge.  Our governors great, but a lot of our people are not… it’s so sad that this has become so politicized  Just face the fact that we all have to stay home, mask when out, and care about others.  Sounds easy doesn’t it?   Betsy

8/8/20 — That was great. Thanks for sending it.  Barbara Hartt Hise

8/8/20 — Love it! Jennifer B-C Seaver

8/8/20 — The chorus was great. I am wondering if it will be the job of all chorus leaders to master zoom production skills and gather their students and participants on line. A useful skill .   Chris Hollister

8/8/20 — Thank you, Sally!  Frannie Blair

8/8/20 —  Sally, I absolutely adored the singing.  Wonderful and just exactly the smile I needed in the middle of an overly hectic day.  Too many things have been going on here, and I loved just sitting and listening and smiling, and then I played it all over again.  What fun they had doing that.  And then I put it on our website (at least I think I did, but it’s been a busy day.)  Thank you so much.
     And Chris, the chorus leaders are already into this stuff.  My old children’s chorus is doing amazing stuff.  The Choral Director is really wonderful, and I’m so glad that she’s doing so well and being so creative.  My college group will be all on-line when school starts September 4.   I am sorry that “Chorus” and “Chamber Singers” will be combined, which means he can’t expect too much from all of us of varying capabilities.  But it’ll be fun and interesting — I hope.  Our church choir is having fun putting together voice recordings.  Bryan and I are helping the organizer by being two of the singers in each part who sing through the piece so the rest of the choir can rehearse with other voices.  Some people are pretty skittish about it all.   I think it’s a hoot!  The congregation loves it — so far we’ve done three pieces.  
     I feel so sorry for teachers.  My ceramics teacher, new Department Chair in the fall, got through only one semester before the boom was lowered.   Darn.   And I am worried about my own capabilities.  In the past when I have had to take a break from ceramics work, it has taken me quite a long time to get my work back up to the quality it was when I stopped.  Double darn.  I have things in my head that need to be created…Liz Webfoot

1961 Zoom Meeting — August, 2020.  Frannie Blair is the only one whose name appears because she was speaking at the time of the photo.  Of course it follows logically that we can see Carol and Babbie’s names but not their faces. 
Top to bottom:  left to right.
Row 1:  Judy, Liz, Dee,    , Elsa
Row 2: Myra, Barbara, Chris, Betsy, Ann
Row 3: Nancy, Cindy, Rocki, Sherry, Dottie
Row 4:  Kim, Sue, Ellen, Barbara, Marion
Row 5:  Mary, Frannie
 
 

8/22/20 —  So sorry to miss you all -I’ll be back at work at KAF – whoops – now KAB – ie King Arthur Baking! Rebranding in the midst of a pandemic – what an idea!!   
     Been thinking about our annual get-togethers as it’s tent cater pillar season – I remember last year that trees all the way up to NC were covered with them.  Fewer here this  year.
     News! – will be seeing a Spine Center doc at DHMC on the 27th.  I have spinal stenosis at Cervical 6-7 – anyone have any input on this? Surgery or PT?
     Hope all are well! Best love, Diana

8/21/20 — Missed you too, Diana!  It really was lovely seeing everyone and I hope we can do it again more often.  Again, thank you Judy, for putting it together — and springing for the upgrade in Zoom service.  
     Re spinal surgery, I have suffered with stenosis and scoliosis for years and years and have consulted a number of physicians, both in LA and in Santa Barbara.  Only one in LA wanted to do surgery.  All the rest have said that it is unclear which of those issues is most responsible for causing my pain and that the surgery for one of them (of course, now I can’t remember which one–I’ll try to check back with the doctor to find out!)  is more difficult with more possible side effects that leave you in worse shape than before.  I also cross-examined my current back care doctor about stem cell therapy (not advised for backs, according to her), medical marijuana (I hated the way it made me feel so that was short-lived!), and various back support devices.  However,  I am very fortunate that while the pain is quite severe (maybe up to an 8) if I stand or walk for more than 15 to 20 minutes, it goes away if I sit down for just a little while –another reason why marijuana didn’t seem to be a good option.  Why take it if I wasn’t in pain and by the time I was in pain, sitting would make it go away before the marijuana took effect!)  I also had a series of cortisone injections in the 90’s but they didn’t work either.   However, all these remedies have definitely had success for some people so it is kind of a crap shoot!   
     How does your pain manifest itself?  Is it constant?  Does aspirin or Tylenol or Aleve help?  This probably really doesn’t help at all but I will definitely be thinking of you and hoping you do indeed find some relief!  Back pain sucks!  Kim

8/22/20  — Ladies, you all look so great!  Sorry to have missed it.  Thanks, Liz, for the picture.  Thought I’d pipe in on the discussion of backs.  After being 5’5” for so many years, and relatively straight and strong, I am now about 5’0” and have over a 60 degree scoliosis and arthritic changes in my spine.  The fancy words for my dx is “chronic lumbar stenosis with neurogenic claudication”.  I have to use a walker now, which I really hate.  I, too, have the same issue of pain which quits when I sit down.  Tried spinal injections without much success.  Now I have an implanted spinal nerve stimulator—a little battery pack in my back with wires connecting to my spine.  This has really helped, although does not completely take care of all the discomfort.  The goal of this therapy is to reduce pain by at least 50%, which it does, so I can work in my gardens now somewhat, etc.  What hurts the most, oddly, is vacuuming and floor mopping—so I now leave that to others whenever possible.
     The alternate treatment given to me was surgery—a 5 or 6 vertebral fusion, a 6 hour surgery, not recommended in my case due to my lung disease.  Although a neighbor, who happens to be an orthopod himself (and whose wife is a ‘73 MHC grad), just had that done and has done incredibly well.  I do know that he did a lot of pre-surgery exercise, which clearly has paid off.  But spinal surgery remains somewhat of a crap shoot as far as results are concerned.
     In any case, we soldier on, and I’m hoping to come to our reunion—if there is one!  Very warm regards to all, Sally

8/23/20 —  I think I can top this. Yesterday, I drove 10 miles to a parking lot where I used to meet members of a hiking club. I parked and started off. An hour later, I came back to find my car missing. I spent several hours walking around the area and didn’t find it. After lunch, I called 911, explaining that it wasn’t an emergency but my car was missing. Shortly thereafter, a cruiser pulled up. We spent another hour circling around and coming up shortt. Even the Sergeant on duty was also looking. Not to be found. The female officer drove me back home after the Sergeant “interrogated” me through the car window. I figured he saw me as a little old lady who couldn’t remember stuff. This morning, I got a call from the officer who took the incident report telling me that my car had been located a block away. Apparently it was put on a flatbed truck and then moved to a credit union parking lot for me to retrieve it with the help of my neighbors. Now I can contact the insurance company and AAA to get a new license plate since that one was imade invalid after the car was reported as stolen. A nightmare!  Jennifer Bagster-Collins Seaver
*  Oh, wow.  I do think you topped all.  Marian
*  Oh my gosh what a saga. If your reporting is any example I am impressed that you remain cool and competent through the whole thing oh wow. With some embarrassment and curiosity what state do you live in?  Meg 
*  I live in PA. The car was at a shopping center near the PA turnpike entrance. Jennifer  

END OF PART TEN