{"id":4999,"date":"2023-02-02T16:46:12","date_gmt":"2023-02-02T21:46:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/?p=4999"},"modified":"2023-02-03T17:35:53","modified_gmt":"2023-02-03T22:35:53","slug":"4999-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/4999-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Garden of Eden"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>2\/2\/23 &nbsp; Thanks to Rocki Hill Hughes, I love this! &nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><em>sincerely, your webmistress (ehb)<\/em><\/div>\n<div>&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px\"><strong>Garden Of Eden<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px\">One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.<br \/>\n\u201cLord, I have a problem! &nbsp;I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I\u2019m just not happy.\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cWhy is that, Eve?\u201d came the reply from above.<br \/>\n\u201cLord, I am lonely, and I\u2019m sick to death of apples.\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cWell Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you.\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cWhat\u2019s a man, Lord?\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cThis man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He\u2019ll lie, cheat, and be vainglorious; all in all, he\u2019ll give you a hard time. But\u2026 he\u2019ll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he\u2019s aroused, but since you\u2019ve been complaining, I\u2019ll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won\u2019t be too smart, so he\u2019ll also need your advice to think properly.\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cSounds great.\u201d says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. \u201cWhat\u2019s the catch, Lord?\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cWell\u2026 you can have him on one condition.\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cWhat\u2019s that, Lord?\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cAs I said, he\u2019ll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring\u2026 So you\u2019ll have to let him believe that I made him first. But remember, it\u2019s our little secret\u2026 You know, woman to woman.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>2\/2\/23 &nbsp; Thanks to Rocki Hill Hughes, I love this! &nbsp; sincerely, your webmistress (ehb) &nbsp; Garden Of Eden One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God. \u201cLord, I have a problem! &nbsp;I know you created &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/4999-2\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on wp_trim_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on wp_trim_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[36775],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4999","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-take-time-to-laugh"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4999","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/182"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4999"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4999\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4999"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4999"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4999"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}