{"id":4681,"date":"2021-03-27T15:43:40","date_gmt":"2021-03-27T19:43:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/?p=4681"},"modified":"2021-03-27T15:43:40","modified_gmt":"2021-03-27T19:43:40","slug":"terrific-puns","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/terrific-puns\/","title":{"rendered":"Terrific Puns"},"content":{"rendered":"
    \n
  1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  3. A commander walked into a bar and ordered everyone around.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  4. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  5. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  6. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  7. When I told my contractor I didn\u2019t want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare.<\/strong> <\/li>\n
  8. Bono and The Edge walked into a Dublin bar and the bartender said, \u201cOh no, not U2 again.<\/strong> <\/li>\n
  9. Prison is just one word to you but, for some people, it\u2019s a whole sentence.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  10. I\u2019m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament but good players are really hard to find.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  11. I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won\u2019t lie, it was a rocky road.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  12. What do you say to comfort a friend who\u2019s struggling with grammar? There, their, they\u2019re.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  13. 13<\/strong>.<\/strong>What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up his own incision? Suture self<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled. A commander walked into a bar and ordered everyone around. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars. How much … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[36775],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4681","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-take-time-to-laugh"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4681","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/182"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4681"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4681\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4681"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4681"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4681"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}