{"id":4225,"date":"2020-04-04T05:31:33","date_gmt":"2020-04-04T09:31:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/?p=4225"},"modified":"2020-08-08T14:51:47","modified_gmt":"2020-08-08T18:51:47","slug":"how-to-handle-an-emergency","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/how-to-handle-an-emergency\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Handle an Emergency"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"gmail_default\">&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<span style=\"color: #800000\">So there were five people on an airplane about to crash with only four parachutes. &nbsp;Four adults and one 10-year-old girl were on the &nbsp; plane. &nbsp;The pilot had already jumped.<\/span><\/div>\n<div class=\"gmail_default\"><span style=\"color: #800000\">&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;The CDC presidential liaison said, &#8220;I need to parachute because I&#8217;ll be saving thousands, maybe even hundreds of thousands of lives with my work,&#8221;&nbsp;so he took the first parachute and jumped.<\/span><\/div>\n<div class=\"gmail_default\"><span style=\"color: #800000\">&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;The Pope said, &#8220;Millions of people are relying on me to maintain their faith during this ordeal,&#8221;&nbsp;so he took the second parachute and jumped.<\/span><\/div>\n<div class=\"gmail_default\"><span style=\"color: #800000\">&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Donald Trump said, &#8220;I am the smartest man in the world and the only one who can solve all these problems,&#8221;&nbsp;and he took the third parachute and jumped.<\/span><\/div>\n<div class=\"gmail_default\"><span style=\"color: #800000\">&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Mayor Cuomo stood up and said, &#8220;Well I&#8217;ve had a very long and fulfilled life young lady and you have your whole life ahead of you, so I think you should take this fourth parachute and I wish you the best of luck.&#8221;<\/span><\/div>\n<div class=\"gmail_default\"><span style=\"color: #800000\">&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;The little girl just smiled and said&nbsp;&#8220;No, you take it,&nbsp; I have one. The smartest man in the world didn&#8217;t notice that what he thought was a parachute was my school backpack.&#8221;<\/span><\/div>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;So there were five people on an airplane about to crash with only four parachutes. &nbsp;Four adults and one 10-year-old girl were on the &nbsp; plane. &nbsp;The pilot had already jumped. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;The CDC presidential liaison said, &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/how-to-handle-an-emergency\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on wp_trim_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on wp_trim_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[31639],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4225","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pandemic-laughs"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4225","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/182"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4225"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4225\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4225"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4225"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4225"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}