{"id":3838,"date":"2018-04-16T22:50:44","date_gmt":"2018-04-17T02:50:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/?p=3838"},"modified":"2018-04-16T22:51:59","modified_gmt":"2018-04-17T02:51:59","slug":"lexophile","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/lexophile\/","title":{"rendered":"Lexophile"},"content":{"rendered":"
What a hoot!<\/strong><\/div>\n
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“Lexophile” describes those that have a love for words, such as “you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish”, or “To write with a broken pencil is pointless.” An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original lexophile.<\/em><\/div>\n
 <\/strong><\/div>\n
No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.<\/strong><\/div>\n
If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.<\/strong><\/div>\n
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.<\/strong><\/div>\n
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.<\/strong><\/div>\n
Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?<\/strong><\/div>\n
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.<\/strong><\/div>\n
When chemists die, they barium.<\/strong><\/div>\n
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.<\/strong><\/div>\n
I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.<\/strong><\/div>\n
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .<\/strong><\/div>\n
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.<\/strong><\/div>\n
This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I’d swear I’ve never met herbivore<\/strong><\/div>\n
I know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.<\/strong><\/div>\n
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.<\/strong><\/div>\n
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.<\/strong><\/div>\n
I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.<\/strong><\/div>\n
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.<\/strong><\/div>\n
A will is a dead giveaway.<\/strong><\/div>\n
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.<\/strong><\/div>\n
Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.<\/strong><\/div>\n
Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He’s all right now.<\/strong><\/div>\n
A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.<\/strong><\/div>\n
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.<\/strong><\/div>\n
He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.<\/strong><\/div>\n
When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.<\/strong><\/div>\n
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.<\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What a hoot! “Lexophile” describes those that have a love for words, such as “you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish”, or “To write with a broken pencil is pointless.” An annual competition is held by the … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[36775],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3838","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-take-time-to-laugh"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3838","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/182"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3838"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3838\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3838"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3838"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3838"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}