{"id":4504,"date":"2020-10-25T18:53:06","date_gmt":"2020-10-25T22:53:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/?page_id=4504"},"modified":"2021-06-11T21:52:58","modified_gmt":"2021-06-12T01:52:58","slug":"part-9-jun-30-jul-3-20","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/new.alumnae.mtholyoke.edu\/1961\/part-9-jun-30-jul-3-20\/","title":{"rendered":"Part 9: Jun 30 – Jul 3, ’20"},"content":{"rendered":"

6\/30 – 7\/3\/20<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

(Editor’s note.  Dr. Fauci, on Trump’s CDC Task Force, has become our hero.  He adds the voice of reason that is so sorely lacking from the White House.  While the pandemic rages, oft times out of control, the following emails center on the choice of a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC), something many of us are focusing on or trying to focus on.)<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

6\/30\/20 —  In the next few months Andy and I are moving into a CCRC in Vero Beach and so we too will experience the 50 acres of quarantine!  <\/span>Sherry Welles Urner<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

6\/30\/20 — Sherry, That\u2019s a big step, one Bill and I can\u2019t seem to get to right now. First we have to sell our lake house, then our FL Condo and, hardest of all, decide where we want to be. We\u2019re talking about selling the lake house, actually met with a real estate agent last fall, but it still comes down to deciding  where we want to be for our last move. We like being in FL in the winter but don\u2019t want to spend summers there so still enjoy going back and forth.  I guess when we\u2019re ready it will come together. So for now we do nothing. I envy those who have made the decision.  Did you sell your beach house?  Barbara Hartt Hise<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

6\/30\/20 — Bette, Sherry and Barbara:  Thank you,  Bette, for your poetry and your thoughts.  I have been going day by day and not giving life much thought.  I have been enmeshed in reading about racism and watching videos.  I hope we as a country, are able to put some positive changes in place.  You are prompting me to give more thought to my place in this time.
\n     Sherry,  congratulations on your decision to move to a retirement community.  You won’t be sorry\"Emoji\"
\n     Barbara – Connecticut is a good place to live.  Join me at Seabury,  I’m very happy here.
\n     Best to all with whatever it is you are navigating, currently. 
\nMarian Strong Moore<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

6\/30\/20 — Thanks, Marian, but CT isn’t even on our radar screen. I have not lived in CT since I graduated from MHC. Our final move with kids was to Mpls., a place we love and loved raising our family, but we don’t want to be there in the winter any more than we want to be in FL for the summer. Thus our dilemma. Two of our kids are in MN and WI, one in CA. Not an easy decision for us, but we’ll figure it out — eventually.  Barbara Hartt Hise<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

6\/30\/20 — It is a big decision and better to do sooner than later, but each person dins their own way for the next decade or 2?  Bette<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

7\/1\/20 — Bryan and I are on a waitlist for a retirement community, but now that we’re going through the pandemic here, we realize even more than ever that we are pretty darned content!  We’ve been enjoying our gardens and yard now that we have “spare” time. We may opt to have help here instead of moving.  Just can’t really<\/u> make a decision to pack up and leave.  I know it’s better now than later, but…  HELP.  We’ve now had 4 months to clean out stuff.  We started but a rather pathetic attempt.   Cheers — Liz Barrett<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

7\/1\/20 — Dan and I are feeling much the same as you and Bryan, Liz.  A real turnaround for me, not so much for Dan who has been pretty negative about our joining a retirement community from the getgo.  To each his own, I guess.  A friend has a motto —  “You do you, and I’ll do me,” and I guess that holds true for this issue too.  Judy K.              Judy Marshall Kennedy<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

7\/1\/20 — We did downsize two years ago and are really glad that we did.   We had a big home on the water in Northport and are now in a lovely condo, nestled in the trees,  in the larger town of Traverse City.  We have a view of the water. No more boats, beach to take care of, huge gardens to weed, old house to keep clean, and we are much closer to stores, restaurants, theaters (which we don\u2019t use right now!) and one of our sons… the one with grandchildren! It is so much easier.   We feel lucky to have great neighbors.  Miss our old friends, but we do see them pretty often.   Usually by Zoom right now, but we\u2019re going out there to dinner tonight. Just six of us outside, masked and distanced.  It\u2019s 90 degrees here right now!   In northern Michigan!   It has been worth it for us.   Keep the faith through all this pandemic, friends, and keep those masks on!  Betsy<\/span><\/p>\n

\"😇\"<\/div>\n

7\/1\/20 — We moved into a CCRC in Durham, NC 2 years ago and are so glad we did. We first moved from Delaware to Florida (after a major downsizing) in 2010 and then back up to North Carolina (with a minor additional downsizing) in 2018. It is a wonderful community close to 3 universities and 2 excellent medical centers. It has the added benefit of our daughter living only a \u00bd mile away – we can actually walk over there. It was the right move at the right time and we couldn\u2019t be happier. I think moving close to a child or relative who can advocate for you when you are no longer able to look after yourself is very important. We are not at that point yet, but it is comforting to know our daughter is there if we need her.  Kay Bloecker Nelson<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

7\/1\/20 — If any of you has access to “At Home” programs, check them out. My CCRC, Seabury in Bloomfield, CT operates one called “Seabury AT Home.” All the perks of living at the CCRC e.g.health care etc while living in your own home. Best of all, the option to move in when you are ready. I think Ding has spoken of her experience with that. She initiated a community At Home program in her town. Marian<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

7\/1\/20 — Marian\u2014with the AT Home program\u2014does one have to pay a monthly fee to the CCRC even tho you aren\u2019t living there yet? I don\u2019tmean you since I know you are already there.  Babbie<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

7\/1\/20 — Just want to report that Don and I moved to a place in Portland, Maine called Birchwoods . It has independent and assisted living. We are in a two bedroom ( or one br and study) two bathroom independent cottage. We get meals in the big house twice a day. During pandemic they are bringing the meals to our cottage. The development is in a wooded area north of Portland, and the community is laid out so we do not look in any bodies windows. We have a back yard and have installed a dog run for our standard poodle. We are so glad we have done this now!  Sallie Crittendon <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

7\/1\/20 — Yes, Babbie,  There is a monthly fee in this program.  You pass the financial and physical requirements and you don’t ever have to go thru those, again, no matter what changes in your life. You pay a portion of the entrance fee. You have access to all the amenities and health care.  <\/div>\n
     I don’t know who “Don and I” are.  I have a friend in a CCRC in the Portland area:  Jean Hubbell.  Marian Strong Moore<\/strong><\/div>\n

7\/3\/20 — I think I started a great discussion when I wrote of our plan to move into a apartment in independent living at a CCRC.
\n     No doubts – it\u2019s a really difficult decision. I think the decision Involves much discussion and agreement: <\/span>
\n>  where do we want to spend our final, less physically able, years?;  <\/span>
\n>  what kind of medical care do I want for Jim(Andy) or myself if\/when poor health or end of life issues are present?
\n>  is 24\/7 medical support, If Needed, important?; and, of course,  —–>  where in this nation do we want to be?  For us, warm weather was important, staying in our Florida town where we have doctors, known grocery and drug stores, a great bridge center, church and lots of friends who have chosen to grow old at this CCRC. Most important was having a safe place for my husband to enjoy life despite his complex medical issues.
\n     So – I can\u2019t say I\u2019m excited about moving and leaving our SeaOaks beach and tennis community but I know it\u2019s a wise and rational decision.
\n     The other consideration, in terms of when to make the move, is the reality that we can be moving 2 years too early or 2 minutes too late (we each must  pass the medical and cognitive required testing for independent living, eg cant get in post-stroke)
\n     We felt it smart to move now! And so we\u2019ll be moving in September, hoping to sell our condo quickly and glad we still have a NJ cottage for summertime visiting with on our 3 kids (who all live in New England.)
\n     Hope this isn\u2019t too long.  Sherry Welles Urner<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

7\/2\/20 — I am enjoying our conversations so much. A few thoughts: having a destination decided upon made doing the work of getting there possible. I agree having a child nearby is high priority. If that means either cold or hot part of the year, that seems to matter less  if in a congregate living.   Dottie Smith Mann <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

7\/2\/20 — I agree with Dottie.  I had tried to send an email RE Barbara Hartt Hise\u2019s dilemma of trying to choose between Florida or Wisconsin, pointing out that Indianapolis was sort of midway so they should come here!!  (For some reason that message was rejected for content and wouldn\u2019t send!) We decided on Indy because we had lived here earlier and knew it\u2019s a very good area, plus 4 of our 6 kids and families are in the area, so if we ever need help, no one kid would have the whole load.  But with our blended family, we decided that  a continuing care plan was a good idea for us, and we found a community in the Indy area, Zionsville, which we love.  Lots of green spaces, parks, dog parks,   Woods to walk in, wonderful community center with pool, workout rooms, lots of programs, etc.  we are very happy here.<\/span>
\n     We had a 4-acre place in rural southern Indiana which we loved, but we knew that if the kids had to deal with disposing of it, it would be very difficult for them, and anyway it was getting to be too much to manage, even with help.  Sorting and selling were hugely complex, quite an ordeal\u2014the reason I missed our last reunion!\u2014but we did it and are so glad we did, even though we loved that place.  <\/span>
\n     Anyway, interesting discussion.  We would love to give classmates a tour, if you\u2019re ever passing our way.  SarahSally Stearns Gipson<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

7\/2\/2o — Sally,  nice to know you are settled and happy, too.  Marian<\/strong><\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
7\/2\/20 — This is a great discussion. Minneapolis is where we should be when we make the move. Our daughter is there and we lived there for 28 years. So hard to give up what we have now, but we know the day is coming and we need to start looking.  Barbara Hartt Hise<\/span><\/strong><\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
7\/2\/20 — I also appreciate this conversation.  I am fortunate to be in my condominium community…as long as my eyesight and legs hold out!  And then?  And my condo is all on 1 floor with a river running by.        
\n     Finances are a concern.  My condo is not a house.  My financial advisor states regarding my moving, even into a rental facility: “Not now or you will run out of money.”  Buy-ins are out of the question.    <\/span><\/span>
\n     When the time comes when I must move,  I’ll likely go to Maine where I have family in Portland area…Hmm…Birchwoods looks interesting…just checked it out on the web – rental, I gather.  <\/span><\/span>
\nCindy Dennett Yee<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
7\/2\/20 — Playing around looking may help. Fool your psyche into \u201cit\u2019s just a game \u201c to avoid panic. Dottie <\/strong><\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
7\/2\/20 — Dottie, Are you moving to a CCRC? At least you know where you will be.  Barbara Hartt Hise<\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
7\/2\/20 — This is an incredibly timely discussion for me.   At the moment John and I are surrounded by a sea of boxes having yesterday pulled the final things we want out of our home of 48 years here in Boulder.  <\/span>
\n     The CCRC we\u2019ve just moved to – Frasier Meadows – is only about 3 miles from our home and less than a mile from our son and his family.  So picking the  place to move was the easy part.  We have a number of friends who\u2019ve lived here for a few years as well as others who\u2019ve just moved in in the last 5 months since they opened up 98 new independent living apartments.  Our classmate, Nicki Haller, whom I believe is another silent member of this email group, moved in back in January.   [Nicki, if you are still in this email group I\u2019ll see you one of these days.  We saw Jere when he asked a question in a Zoom meeting this morning!] <\/span>
\n     Moving during the pandemic is not ideal – hard to get rid of things, friends and family can\u2019t help out either in clearing out or now in helping us settle in.  Though they\u2019re starting to open things up a bit we\u2019re expected to self quarantine for two weeks except for going back and forth to our house which will go on the market when all is cleared out, etc.  It was way too difficult for us to try and sell it during these past few months.  I could ramble on about this but should get back to work.<\/span>  <\/span>All the best to all,  Ellen Fetter Gille<\/strong><\/span><\/div>\n
\n

7\/2\/20 — This is a really interesting topic.  For those of you currently living in CCRC communities, what kind of restrictions have been put in place during the Covid crisis?  I gather dining hall meals are cancelled and food is delivered to residents (is that correct?) but how are they enforcing social distancing?  Can you leave the property with no issue?  How are they celebrating July 4th?   Concerts?  Films?  Meetings?   So curious!  Thanks for sharing.  Kim<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

7\/2\/20 — Marian and others- have a daughter in the Hartford area and keeping meaning to get to one of your events – bowled over recently by your knowing Jeannie Hubbell and her second husband Bill – Jeannie and her first husband, also Bill, were our neighbors and good friends in Bedford, NY – Apologies to the rest of you, probably won\u2019t mean much to others – amy<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"
\n 
\n7\/3\/20 — Seem to have missed this whole thread but have now found it to be enlightening – good by to hear that most of you have a real Plan – we not even though Rob just turned 84: our Ct house has been on the market for more than 2 years, entire attic full of boxes, our daughter, sometimes a granddaughter still with us (we love \"💗\" that the latter left Martine, her little robot cleaner with us when she went to stay with her uncle ) winters in our very small Amelia Island, FL are vacation time for us – 2 lots her in Ct, could put a \u201ctiny\u201d house on one, sounds like a gun project: not asking for advice just showing the \u201cundecided\u201d point of view – Amy<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

7\/3\/2p0 — I live at Seabury in Bloomfield Ct. after 46 years in my home in nearby Simsbury. Marian Moore was helpful when I looked here two years ago and welcomed me warmly when I came. Since March we independent residents have been alone in our residences with food, packages, and mail delivered to our doors; trash and recyclables are removed from outside our doors. Books can be ordered and delivered from the town library. All independent residents have been tested twice now, and  this will continue every few weeks – for employees as well. We are free to leave and  have socially distanced seating outside to visit. Fitness options from pool to outside classes have been opening. I love many things about living here; the best is the chance to meet so many wonderful new friends at my age.
\nBrenda Pfeiffer<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

7\/3\/20 — Sorry, have seen many before me forget to sign and yet I just did it. Brenda Pfeiffer<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

7\/3\/20 — Thank you, Brenda, for filling. Classmates in on Seabury.  Glad to hear you are happy.  Me. Too.  Marian<\/span><\/p>\n

7\/3\/20 — Fascinating discussion – I am really ignorant about this – what does CCRC stand for?  Fortunately, our one story home is very comfortable, we have good help and neighbors, and it is easy to maintain, near a nice park to walk in. There aren’t a lot of good options locally that I know of, and not in our town.  The problem will come when we can no longer drive, but as my husband keeps reminding me, our costs on our home, which we bought in 1969 for $24,000, and is protected by Prop 13, unfair as it is, means we could take a lot of LYffts for what we’d pay in rent and costs somewhere else. 
\n     Last summer when we were in Vermont we visited Mary Lou Moore Bright and her husband in the senior living in Middlebury they’d just moved to – seemed like a really nice place, and convenient to all the things they like to do in the town. 
\n     When my mother was living in South Hadley, my brother, sister and I, who were spread out across the country not near her,  waited too long to encourage her to go into a senior living community, and when she did, it was a nice one but not near any one of us.  As her memory worsened, it became harder and harder for us to really keep track of what was going on and what she needed, though we took turns going to visit from Washington DC, Minneapolis and Long Beach.  She was determined that she didn’t want to be a problem for any of us, so didn’t want to move near any of us. We think now we should have been more aggressive about getting her to come to something right near one of us.  I think, in the long run, it’s easier for children to decide who should take the responsibility of having a nearby parent, and dividing up other responsibilities that to all be far away.  Dee<\/strong>?<\/span><\/p>\n

7\/3\/20 — CCRC stands for Continuing Care Retirement Community and typically includes independent living in apartments and cottages or villas, assisted living, memory care, and nursing care.  
\n     Your story is an excellent example of why you want to be near a child or other family who will be able to be sure you are getting good care and making sure you have what you need when memory fails or you are physically frail.  
\n     The other important thing to consider is to not wait too long before going to live in one.  Many will not accept new residents who are unable to live independently and participate in the many wonderful activities offered.  I know we are involved in and attend many more activities than were available to us when we lived in a 55+ community Florida.
\n     Our pandemic experience is very similar to what has already been described.  The only thing I would add is that we have aerobics, balance and yoga classes 3 times a week on Zoom.  Our in-house TV channel offers aerobics, balance, and strength training classes, folk dancing, sing-alongs, meditation sessions, and \u201cmoth\u201d stories.  And on Fridays there is a 4 pm \u201cSocial Hour\u201d on Zoom – you provide your own beverage.  Actual visits to a few local CCRCs will give you an idea of what they are like.  Kay Bloecker Nelson<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

7\/3\/20 — I\u2019m eager to find out who wrote the interesting piece on living at Seabury.      To answer Barbara Hise\u2018s question, I have no  plans to move from my downsized home near my kids. I was suggesting for those who are actively exploring, that identifying a Destiination can make the work of divesting a lot easier.
\nDottie Smith Mann <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

7\/3\/20 — Hi Sherry–I wrote you a few days ago to ask the name of where you are going.  Maybe you didn’t get that email??  <\/span>
\nBabbie Miller<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

7\/3\/20 — This is in response to Kim\u2019s questions.  I think management of how our CCRC in a Indiana is handling the Covid-19  issue is probably representative, although state laws factor in due to long term care, dementia care and assisted living being state-regulated. 
\n     We live in one of 5 independent living areas on our campus\u2014duplexes of varying sizes, and apartments.  We have pretty much been able to come and go as we wish, though leaving campus has certainly been discouraged.  Lots of home delivery of groceries etc.  Residents who return from other areas after being away have had to self-quarantine for 2 weeks, I think. There has been no Covid testing of these groups.
\n     Our main restrictions have been caused by being locked out of buildings housing state-regulated groups.  Our restaurants are in the assisted living building as is the chapel (also used for concerts, lectures, etc); hair and nail salons and some PT facilities are housed in the long-term care building.  We have not been allowed to even enter these places, along with our Memory Unit building.  Of the greatest impact to us is the closing of our community center, which includes the pool, all sorts of exercise equipment and classes, art room,physical,therapy, etc.   Tho recently we have been able to use the pool and equipment individually by making appointments.   No planned or bussed activities, etc.
\n     Menus are posted weekly and we can choose to pick up meals, drive-through style, if we wish.  We are not supposed to have visitors in our houses;  maintenance men and cleaning people have just started to be allowed to come in (thank goodness) with masks and gloves.  All employees have been tested and are screened prior to each shift, and all residents in regulated areas have been tested and retested.
\n     This is getting way too long, sorry.  Anyway, things are beginning to loosen up a bit;  there\u2019s a concert in the park next week, for example. Sure will be great to get back to normal\u2014usually lots going on we can pick from.  But who knows when!  Anyway, hope that answered some of your questions, Kim!  Sally Stearns Gipson<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n