Crones Speak — some tips for good living from older women in literature

   Crones Speak

Inspired by our stories in the 50th class reunion book, class president Bea Szekely hopes to get vibrant conversations going on the class blog about our current lives and issues.   She asked if I would begin with some thoughts about my research into roles older women play in literature and how that might illuminate our journeys.  Please join in these reflections with your stories and thoughts!

I’d started work on a Ph.D. in my early 30s, but life intervened and I got derailed.    In my early 50s, this unfinished goal was still gnawing, so I began again at the University of British Columbia in nearby Vancouver, B.C.  My field is comparative literature. When I was deciding on my dissertation topic, I was in what is now styled “’early middle age.”  So, I thought I’d explore literary roles for older women, since I was well on my way to becoming one.  I could mine French and American literature for clues and earn a doctorate, too.  The result is academically known as The Crone: An Emerging Voice in a Feminine Symbolic Order.

In a nutshell, I found roles for old women more or less fell into several categories:  The mythological Crone, representing the last aspect of the female life-death-life cycle, and the Hag or Witch, a magical bridge between human and supernatural powers.  More strictly “human,” are the Elder, a guide or wise woman; the Matriarch, a strong family leader or clan head, who combines the female reproductive with the male provider/decider role – usually because the male figure is absent in some way;  and the Grandmother, who signifies generativity, nurture, connectivity and traditions.  And then there is the abject Old Woman, infirm, powerless, in the winter of life.  From the perspective of role models, the elder, matriarch and grandmother offered the most attractive advice for real life.

Twenty years later, I am definitely an older woman, firmly entrenched as a matriarch ( having developed a career and supported my family,  I call it being a Founding Mother), a grandmother, and hoping for the wisdom of an elder.  I have three women friends in their mid-70s who are joyously getting married again this summer after being widowed and some who are dealing with cancers and other acute illnesses. Another has published two books on caregiving as a result of her own experience caring for her husband during his final illness.  Most are retired, exploring painting, writing, hiking, languages, traveling, volunteering and more.  Everyone is in a book discussion group, engaged with community boards, going to charity dinners and enjoying theatre, symphony and opera.   Conversations turn to whether to downsize or “age in place.” We form care circles to support those of us going through illness.

For many of us, it is a full, rich life – fostered by three important criteria which the fortunate circumstances of our times and place of birth have made possible:  good health, good education and access to funds of one’s own.  For the most part, we live in relatively safe communities, in touch with family and friends, with time to ruminate on “the deep questions,” including finding meaning and pattern in our own life’s journey.

As I researched elderly women’s lives in literature and history, possession of these three gifts has by no means been predictable or possible. Most damning has been systematic disregard for the individual lives of women, especially once they can no longer reproduce or be useful. Exclusions from education and access to money have been major obstacles.   From developing countries to Europe and North America, literature and folklore are filled with “crone” characters, who are poor, dotty, infirm and possibly malevolent. I’m deeply grateful to have lived in these times and in this place, to realize that my present good life rests upon the strong shoulders of many who came before me.

In the forefront of those women who have made our lives better is MHC alumna Frances Perkins (1902), President Franklin Roosevelt’s Secretary of Labor, the first woman U.S. cabinet member and the person largely responsible for the 1935 Social Security Act, which provides older workers with basic retirement income.

I’ll close these thoughts on the note of gratitude.  Join in this conversation with your own experiences, reflections, perhaps creative work such as a poem. Contribute what you’d like; it’s the sharing that counts.  Lynne Shangraw  Masland, ‘62

5 thoughts on “Crones Speak — some tips for good living from older women in literature

  1. Thank you so much for this insightful and important message to women of all ages and especially to women at our stage of life. I am so much more reflective now –finding myself looking back over my life rather than ahead. Having spent most of my adulthood as a community volunteer, I often wonder what life would have been like had I stayed with my original profession (teacher) or pursued another one. While placing value on the broad scope of lessons learned from my experiences and even recognizing contributions offered along the way, I perhaps missed the satisfaction that women in the workplace feel. As for what’s ahead, I plan to stay positive, stay active and hopeful.

  2. Thank you Lynne and Bea. I really enjoyed your thoughts Lynne. Much to muse on. A friend and I have been asked to talk briefly about our personal stories as the keynote speakers at a September fund raiser for a community health clinic that our spouses(now deceased) started 40+ years ago. WOW– writing this speech hasn’t been easy. It has been a hellluva ride. Maybe it would be more accurate to say that reflecting hasn’t been easy. The title I decided on is “No one knows enough to be a pessimist”. In spite of the challenges there is so much to be grateful for, as you wrote, Lynne.
    “Merci beaucoup” and thanks for starting the conversation. I look forward to reading more. Hugs, Gail

  3. Let’s see. Running through the roles Lynne lays out for us so wonderfully: as the matriarch of a small clan, I enjoy great respect but in large part, I suspect, because I’m learning when to keep quiet. As a grandmother (for the first time, at age 71), the future of us all, which I won’t have much time to participate in, somehow seems easier to conceive of. As a old woman — or on my way to becoming one — our son has yet to admit I might need a hand at the beach while getting out of the surf; our daughter, on the other hand, is becoming touchingly solicitous (is that a pattern?). I cherish the young people who will really share their lives with me and not feel a distance because of our respective ages. Overall, life truly seems much more enjoyable than ever before, the trick is choosing the right way to spend time — alone for hours everyday, with one other person to walk in the morning or have dinner with at day’s end, and in the company of a few groups. I don’t spread myself as thinly as I once did and wish I could concentrate on writing more and more. Thank you, Lynne.

  4. Each of you is the reason I coined “GrandmaLit” as a literary genre.
    We have much to say, have the sense not to cram it down anyone’s throat, and can toss what we have to the Universe for wherever it might find a suitable nest. We’ve seen/experienced a lot. We can provide some guidelines as to what has worked for us, and perhaps what has not. With some humour, and gratitude. We have a lot to offer.

    Possibly my favorite TED talk video, for its beauty and understanding, is http://www.ted.com/talks/louie_schwartzberg_nature_beauty_gratitude.html

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